I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize