I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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