I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
babies were throwing up all over the place
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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