Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
