You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
