Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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