You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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