it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
