Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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