Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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