Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize