So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
