After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
