You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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