ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
