Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
