Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
