currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
