..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
