He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
