I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
