nut hugger
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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