yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
