Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
