I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Randomize
