Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I got inside last night via doggy door
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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