do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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