I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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