When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize