You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
