Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
