woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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