Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
