I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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