O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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