so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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