I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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