All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
