yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
