To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
