I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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