Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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