he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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