Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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