tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
that's an acceptable place to lick
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
