just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
