It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Porn is love you can see.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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