I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
