you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
My vagina just recognized that song.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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