Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize