We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
