I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
