i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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