Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
